Holiday Pep Talk: What’s Important Now? [Episode 15]

[00:00:53] Heidi: All right, friends. We are in it now. Deep breath. It’s the week before Christmas, and your to do list is long enough to wrap around the tree twice.

[00:01:05] Emily: We see you spinning in the whirlwind of shopping, wrapping, and shopping. Baking, school concerts, work deadlines, and oh, the cookies you just remembered you promised to bring to the party.

[00:01:16] Emily: It’s a lot. We see you. We are you, but you don’t have to do it all perfectly. You just have to do it in a way that feels good enough for you and your

[00:01:26] Emily: family.

[00:01:27] Heidi: Let’s take a minute to zoom out. What really matters this week? The cookies, the perfectly coordinated gift wrap. Probably not. It’s the joy, the connection, the little moments where you’re present enough to notice your kid’s crooked grin when they sneak that taste of frosting from the bowl or the way your partner looks at you when you finally sit down with them and just be.

[00:01:53] Emily: So let’s start by calming that panicking part of your brain so we can actually slow down for a second or two and enjoy this holiday. You’re working so hard to pull off. The first thing you need to do is breathe big. Deep, calming breaths, maybe two or three.

[00:02:13] Heidi: And I think I heard a few of you out there just roll your eyes a little bit.

[00:02:17] Heidi: Rude. I caught that. How is breathing going to help you get the bacon wrapped around the dates before your guests show up, right? But my dear questioners, I promise you that there is a method to this madness. Science backs us up on this one. When we are swarmed with emotion. Say, you know, the week before Christmas when we’re busy, busy, busy.

[00:02:38] Heidi: We can either suppress our emotions, or we can manage our emotions. And guess which one has better outcomes?

[00:02:46] Emily: The worst way to deal with emotions is not to deal with them. Instead, we want to manage them in healthy ways. To do that, we have to move our experience from the part of our brains that controls emotion to the part of our brains that controls our emotions.

[00:03:00] Emily: Actions.

[00:03:02] Heidi: That is just a nerdy way of saying, stop and take some deep breaths, count to 10 and breathe

[00:03:09] Heidi: deeply.

[00:03:11] Emily: Or if you really want an A plus in emotional management, breathe and count to 30. The anxiety you’re feeling is unfocused fear. Your body is reacting like you’re facing down a tiger and not aunt Judy’s judgy comments about your housekeeping.

[00:03:27] Emily: But stopping to breathe lets the rational part of your brain override the emotional center.

[00:03:33] Heidi: After you have paused to breathe for a minute, write it all down, get everything out of your head and onto a paper where it can be dealt with. And then we’re going to apply our four filters to each of those tasks.

[00:03:46] Emily: Remember that perfection has no place here. We’re going to embrace the magic of good enough. So look over that mile long to do list and win. W, I, N. What’s important

[00:04:00] Emily: now?

[00:04:02] Heidi: You don’t need to crush every task on your list. Only what’s most important. Revisit your purpose statement and your permission slips.

[00:04:10] Heidi: Figure out what matters most to you. If it’s matching jammies and hot cocoa on the couch, make space for that. If it’s a clean house, Pick one room to tidy and call it a win.

[00:04:22] Emily: The next thing to do with your list is to identify tasks you can outsource, delegate, or skip. Amazon Prime is your best friend.

[00:04:31] Emily: Frozen cookie dough is a Christmas miracle. Kids can wrap presents who cares if the edges are wonky. Someone else can pick up the canned goods for the food drive. You are not here to win Christmas, you are here to live it.

[00:04:44] Heidi: Which brings us to our third filter, adjust your expectations. The call is coming from inside the house, friends.

[00:04:53] Heidi: Chances are you’re the only one holding yourself to these unrealistic standards, so stop trying to be a Christmas hero.

[00:05:00] Emily: Remember that no one is grading your performance. Not Santa, not your in laws, not even that Pinterest perfect mom from Instagram. You know the one.

[00:05:10] Emily: Your people love you for who you are, not for how many things you checked off your list. So, if a task is weighing you down, consider letting

[00:05:18] Emily: it go.

[00:05:19] Heidi: In the list section of the Holiday Head Start playbook, there is a list of everything you want to let go, and then a place to record what you gain from letting that thing go.

[00:05:29] Heidi: When we are down to the wire, we can often get more benefit from releasing tasks from our list than from pushing through to do them all.

[00:05:37] Emily: Especially if you can recognize what you got out of letting it go, extra time, the opportunity to do something different that you would rather do. So that brings us to our last filter, find pockets of joy.

[00:05:50] Emily: Don’t let the to do list keep you from actually celebrating your holiday. I’m talking to myself right now, just so you know, but you can listen to it. So let the laundry sit while you dance to all I want for Christmas is you, which is my nine year old’s favorite Christmas song. And every time she hears it, she acts like it’s such a surprise that her favorite song came on and she doesn’t realize that it’s on all the time.

[00:06:11] Emily: Bless her. I want to live in that moment. And we’re going to drive through the tacky light displays in our PJs. Say yes to that 2 p. m. nap because you are tired and rested. You is a gift to everyone. And it’s true. I really am so much nicer after I’ve had a nap,

[00:06:28] Heidi: Christmas will come whether you make 12 types of cookies or zero.

[00:06:32] Heidi: So as we head into the week of weeks and your blood pressure starts to skyrocket, remember these steps first. Stop and breathe. Count to 30 if you can. Next, write down everything that’s crowding your mind, then apply these four filters to help you prioritize all of those tasks. Filter one, what’s important now?

[00:06:52] Heidi: If it’s not important to your enjoyment of the season, let it go. Filter two, outsource, delegate, or skip everything you can. Filter three, don’t be a holiday hero, adjust your expectations of what needs to happen. And filter four, claim the pockets of joy. Make sure you’re actually showing up to enjoy your holidays, not just to make the holidays.

[00:07:15] Emily: Magic of the season isn’t in the doing, it’s in the being with your family, with your people, with yourself. So busy friends, let’s swap out perfection for peace and you can listen to this pep talk as many times as you need to every day between now and Christmas. If you got to do it, do it.

[00:07:34] Heidi: And

[00:07:34] Heidi: the next time we chat, it will be Christmas.

[00:07:38] Emily: We would love to hear how you are managing right now. Connect with us on Instagram at the holiday headstart and have a very Merry Christmas.

[00:07:47] Emily: Thanks for tuning in today. Use this week to get a head start on planning for what’s ahead. And remember, don’t get it perfect, get it going.

[00:07:59] Heidi: Come follow along on Instagram at theholidayheadstart. We would love to hear from you.

[00:08:04] Emily: If you liked this episode, head to Apple Podcasts and leave us a review. We’ll see you here next week.