5 Keys to Holiday Elf Magic Without All the Headaches [Episode 10]

Heidi  0:50

Hey there, friends. Welcome back to the Holiday Headstart Podcast. Today’s episode has a Code Red, meaning we might be discussing things that you don’t want little ears to hear about. If you’ve got small humans listening, maybe you want to put in some earbuds or save this episode for a time when our discussion won’t ruin any big surprises.

 

Emily  1:11

Traditions are an important tool in building a healthy, happy, connected life. This week, we have a tradition from Heidi.

 

Heidi  1:20

In places with Anglican or Catholic roots, the last Sunday before Advent is known as Stir Up Sunday. Traditionally in the UK, it’s the day that families would make their Christmas pudding. So everyone would take a turn stirring, and you get to make a wish for the year while you’re stirring. And sometimes a coin was mixed in. And then on Christmas when you finally ate your Christmas pudding, whoever found the coin got some good luck, right? That’s the big tradition part.

 

Heidi  1:47

So last year, we took this tradition and we adapted it for our own needs. We have lots of British ancestors, so it was fun to teach the kids about it, but we are not steamed pudding people. I guess, like, I’ve never actually tried it, so I maybe shouldn’t knock it, but it doesn’t sound very good.

 

Emily  2:04

Not if it has to sit for that many weeks. That doesn’t sound appealing.

 

Heidi  2:09

Yeah. So instead, we made hot fudge pudding cake, because it’s very easy to put together and we could eat it right away. So everyone got to take their turn stirring, and while the cake baked, we had a discussion about our upcoming holiday plans and what everyone wanted to do, and then we just enjoyed our warm chocolate cake.

 

Emily  2:29

And even though we had stirred an almond into the batter instead of a coin, no one found it in their piece, so nobody got the extra luck. Still not sure what happened there, and they were all really motivated to find it, but I’m guessing it just was in the remnants of pudding on someone’s plate and got misplaced. I don’t know, it’s so funny.

 

Heidi  2:53

Yeah, that was our big mystery. And, now we have only done this one time, so I guess it’s not technically a tradition, but we are planning on doing it again. So I guess that, that counts. If you have the Holiday Headstart Playbook, the last page in the activities and traditions section is an agenda that you can use for a family meeting about the holidays. And so if you want to have a discussion with your family about any changes or upcoming plans, or you want a way to assign responsibilities for things that are coming up, that can be a real handy tool.

 

Emily  3:26

Plus it’s just a good excuse to eat cake.

 

Heidi  3:28

If you also are not steamed pudding people, I put a link to the recipe in the show notes. It is very easy. When I was looking back over my action plan for this activity, I did have a note to premeasure the ingredients before the kids get involved. So gonna make sure to do that this year.

 

Emily  3:43

Always a good idea when baking with children.

 

Heidi  3:47

We would love to hear about your favorite traditions. Come join us on Instagram @theholidayheadstart.

 

Emily  3:53

Okay, we are headed into the code red section of the episode. So this is your moment if you need to turn this off. So, love it or hate it, if you have kids, there is a good chance that a sweet little buddy from the North Pole is heading your way soon. And we’re not talking about Santa. This visitor is much smaller and stays much longer.

 

Heidi  4:15

And depending on your experience, this visitor may cause many headaches.

 

Emily  4:20

Well, headaches, at least for the grown ups. I think the kids just find it magical, which is why we put up with it.

 

Heidi  4:27

Elf on the Shelf is the most popular of this type of visitor. But there are kindness elves, star-following shepherds, Santa’s lazy gnome, which I think maybe I need, mench on a bench, North Pole ninjas, wandering wise men and even snoop on a stoop.

 

Emily  4:43

I think I want that one this year. Regardless of which visitor you have, the main object is the same. Each morning, the magical friend is in a new place, and the kids have to find it.

 

Speaker 1  4:43

From the kids’ perspective, you can see why they love it. I, too, would love to start each day with a bit of magic made just for me, but the grown up experience of the visitor is not quite the same.

 

Emily  5:08

Or maybe it’s still magical, but the magic comes from seeing how excited your kids are, which makes it worthwhile to stumble out of bed at midnight because you forgot to move that little sucker. I think anyone with a holiday visitor has been there many, many times.

 

Speaker 1  5:24

The investment of time and energy in this project is not small. So we are here to help make managing the elf as painless as possible.

 

Emily  5:33

We want you to be able to have a plug and play experience. Imagine it’s 10pm on December 11, and your alarm goes off to remind you to move the elf. You have exactly what you need on hand. You take a couple of minutes to set things up, and then you are scampering back to bed for the night.

 

Speaker 1  5:50

To help you build this plug and play system, we have five steps to creating elf magic that makes December more joyful for your kids and for you.

 

Emily  6:00

So you can just write your answers on a piece of paper, but we have an elf planning resource called Elf Magic Made Easy that you can use to guide you through this process with us. If you have the Holiday Headstart Planner, you may have grabbed the Elf Magic planner too, but if not, there is a link just to the elf planner in the show notes.

 

Speaker 1  6:19

The first step for creating elf magic is to clarify your mindset. You need to get clear on why you are even doing this little elf, because if you don’t know, this task quickly becomes another stifling task on your daily December to do list.

 

Emily  6:37

For me and maybe for many of you, I don’t particularly love setting up elaborate elf scenes. It’s just one more thing I have to do. But I know why I’m doing this. My kids get so much joy from it every day. Even my teen gets a little boost of happiness from this daily holiday tradition. So that’s my why. I do it, because I feel joy when my kids feel joy, and this is a tradition I am willing to do for that joy.

 

Speaker 1  7:05

I’m guessing that if you already know that the elf is not for you, you’re probably not even listening to this episode. But if you are listening and you are not a fan of the elf, we just want to say that your experience is also valid. For some people, there really is no joy to be had from this holiday visitor obligation, and you are doing the right thing by opting out of this particular holiday tradition.

 

Emily  7:29

But if the elf matters to you, or if you’re willing to put up with it because it matters to people you love, let’s consider a few other clarifying questions. What matters about doing a Christmas elf? And what needs to happen in order to feel like the elf was a success this year?

 

Speaker 1  7:48

These questions are important because it’s easy to get lost in an activity like this. If what matters is that your kids have a little surprise each morning, your plans will be a lot different than if what matters is creating a hilarious and magical wonderland each morning. And once you have clarified your mindset about the elf, it is time for step two, build a framework.

 

Emily  8:10

So when I first started doing the elf, when my oldest was only three, I just did it because it was cute and I knew she would love it, and she did. But what I didn’t anticipate at that point was how many questions would eventually come up about the elf that I was not exactly prepared to answer because I hadn’t thought about these questions at all.

 

Speaker 1  8:31

Well, yeah, kids are going to want to know the story of how the elf joined your family, what the elf’s name is, whether or not the elf is there to monitor behavior, when does the elf arrive, and when does it leave, what happens if the elf is touched, and so much more.

 

Emily  8:45

Even though I’m going into my 12th year of having an elf, there are some questions on that list that I still should decide on to make things go more smoothly. It is never too late to establish your framework. When I first introduced our elf to my three year old, I used the book it came with, and it told her it was there to watch her behavior for Santa. And I realized very quickly that I was not into that vibe at all. So as the years went on, I adjusted and reminded the kids that the elf was there to have fun with us and learn how to be a good, kind kid like they are.

 

Speaker 1  9:18

Don’t be afraid to make changes from how things have been established in the past.

 

Emily  9:22

And I definitely didn’t have a plan in place for what to do when the elf is touched, until the first time the elf was touched and the kids were all freaking out.

 

Speaker 1  9:31

You will save yourself so many headaches if you just decide now how you’re going to handle all of these details going forward. You know, one thing that you mentioned to me that I thought was brilliant was that if the elf happens to bring anything like the elf, it has a beach ball today, that beach ball disappears at night because it belongs to the elf. So that way any props that the elf might be using don’t become additional clutter or become something that the kids fight over. Because you know, that’s what will happen.

 

Emily  9:58

For sure. And I learned this one the hard way too, because our elf initially only moved and then over the years, I started working in some small scenes or props. And then it got to the point that I was using like a kit to set it up every day. And so then there were props every day, and my kids were starting to say things like, Oh, I’m so glad we’re gonna have that cute little whatever the elf was playing with that day, and I’m like, Oh, I don’t want, I don’t want to set that precedent. So we had to rein it in. So I established the rule that if the elf brought something, where he brought three of something, so he clearly brought something for each of them, then it was meant to stay. Otherwise, anything else that belonged to him disappeared at night, who knows how, but with that elf magic, all those props just disappeared.

 

Speaker 1  10:47

All right, now you’ve clarified your mindset and you’ve built your framework. Next, you need to know your limits, and this is probably the most vital step in this whole process.

 

Emily  10:56

Yeah, because the quickest way to resent your little holiday visitor is to not have limits on how this tradition is going to go at your house. So it’s basically just setting boundaries for yourself so you don’t let this spiral out of control, and also setting expectations for your kids so they know what to expect from your elf each day.

 

Speaker 1  11:13

To establish your limits, you’ll want to decide what kind of temperament your elf has. Is it sweet? Is it lazy? Is it mischievous?

 

Emily  11:21

I decided ours, who is named Sparkle, by the way, originally named by the three year old, and it has stuck all those years. Sparkle is silly, but not naughty, and that is an important distinction. The next big question for establishing limits is, how much mess are you willing to clean up each day? And for me, that amount is very little.

 

Speaker 1  11:45

In all caps. If you have ever looked up ideas for your elf on Pinterest or on Instagram, then you know that some of the ideas can get pretty outrageous and messy. It is important to know what your limit is for that mess. If you have the time to devote to this, and you don’t mind cleaning up the mess, hey, you let that elf go wild, friend. But if scraping a toothpaste message off the bathroom mirror is going to make you cranky, you want to set that boundary for your plans.

 

Emily  12:12

Oh my gosh, I’m cranky just thinking about that. That is not for my elf. Other limits you need to decide on are how much energy you’re willing to let this take, what the minimum is that has to happen for this tradition to feel like it was a success. And what you’re going to do when you forget to move the elf—you want to plan for that. And luckily for you, our elf planner comes with a whole list of excuses you can use when needed.

 

Speaker 1  12:40

All of those guiding questions and so many more are available in our elf magic planner, so make sure to grab a copy, so that you have a place to record your own framework and limits and have all of the excuses you might need.

 

Emily  12:53

And a little pro tip from experience when it comes to making your limits. Your kids will likely have friends who are doing the elf differently than you do. Anytime my kids say things like, Billy’s elf always does something naughty, or Susie’s allowed to touch her elf, I remind them that every elf is different, and I also tell them that the parents get to decide what the elf is or isn’t allowed to do. So I told our elf he’s not allowed to be naughty or make messes.

 

Speaker 1  13:20

It’s nice of sparkle to mind so well. Okay, mindset, check, framework, check, limits, check. Now it’s time to get creative by gathering your ideas. Keep your mindset, framework, and limits front and center as we wade into the sea of elf ideas.

 

Emily  13:42

To help simplify planning, we group our elf antics into four categories. The simplest one is move only. And I did only that for many, many years. So if that’s all your elf’s gonna do, that’s a-okay. You just move the elf to a new spot every day. No candy cane hunts, no graham cracker sleds. He was on the bookshelf, and now he’s in the hall. Done.

 

Speaker 1  14:05

If you are new to the elf, or your kids are still very young, it’s probably a good idea to stick with move only for your first year or so. The elf is one of those things that tends to build momentum from year to year, and if you go at it with a 10 right out of the gate, it’s really going to be hard to keep that going for the next decade,

 

Emily  14:24

Even if your elf tradition has grown from the move only stage, you should try to work it into your plans every few days. Keeping a baseline that sometimes the elf just moves spots will help keep this routine from becoming unmanageable.

 

Speaker 1  14:37

Plus, it is a huge gift to your tired self on nights when you can’t manage a big setup. If your kids are used to the elf just moving some days, it’s not going to feel abnormal when you need to use the move only plan to save your sanity.

 

Emily  14:52

So the next step up from move only is elf props. Move your elf to a new spot and give him a candy cane, and you’re all set. You’ve elevated the experience a bit, but you’re keeping it simple. And then the next stage is a little more complex.

 

Speaker 1  15:05

And this is where we get to elf fun. Sometimes the elf might bring a note or a fun surprise, or maybe he plays a silly trick. These setups take more work and more planning.

 

Emily  15:16

And then we have elf scenes. These have a big impact, but can require the most effort. Maybe your elf is playing Django with Kit Kats or building a snowman with toilet paper rolls. It’s so fun, but it’s easy to burn out on those big setups.

 

Heidi  15:30

Yeah, if you have to round up a bunch of supplies or build an elf weight bench out of candy canes, that’s going to wear you down fast.

 

Emily  15:33

To help make all of these elf setups easier, in the elf magic planner, we’ve included over 50 suggestions of elf fun and elf scenes that you can set up in a couple of minutes using household items. Our mission with this planner is to make it easy for you to make some magic in just a few minutes a day.

 

Heidi  15:56

So let’s get to that magic after clarifying your mindset, building a framework, knowing your limits and gathering ideas, it’s time to actually make some plans.

 

Emily  16:06

This is where you’re going to make the plan that is going to save your bacon at midnight on December 17, when you are exhausted and fresh out of creativity. If you have already done the majority of the mental labor by planning out exactly what you’re doing each day, you’ll be so grateful when it’s time to actually move the elf and you don’t have to make any decisions.

 

Speaker 1  16:25

Here is a super helpful tip. In our elf planner, we have a sheet where you can plug in exactly what you plan to have your elf do each day. The most important information you want to get onto that planner isn’t necessarily what the elf is doing, it’s what you will be doing that day. If you are helping at the school carnival all day and then hosting the family for a white elephant gift exchange, you do not want an elaborate scene waiting to be set up late at night, when you’re going to be so tired. So start by plugging in all of the events that you know you have going on in December.

 

Emily  16:59

Then you get to decide what specifically you want to do each day. Remember when we mentioned those move only nights, you’ll be grateful for those easy plans, especially if you schedule them for your busiest days.

 

Speaker 1  17:10

You’ll also want to make note of any supplies you need for the day’s plan and where in the house you plan to set up that scene.

 

Emily  17:17

And that’s it! No big deal, right?

 

Speaker 1  17:20

The elf can require a lot of effort each year, but it can also be a beloved and special tradition for your family that your kids will remember for years to come. Remember these five steps to help make elf magic easier. First, clarify your mindset. Second, build a framework. Third, know your limits. Fourth, gather your ideas. And fifth, make your plans.

 

Emily  17:44

If you want to make this process extra easy, make sure to grab our elf planner. It will guide you through this whole planning process.

 

Speaker 1  17:51

The planner also includes simple already done for you, ideas, printables, that list of excuses for why the elf didn’t move, and tips for making it all run more smoothly. You can grab the elf planner at a discount when you buy the Holiday Headstart Playbook, or you can just grab the elf planner by itself. We will have a link to both of those in the show notes.

 

Emily  18:12

We’d love to hear how you manage your magical visitors at your house. Connect with us on Instagram @theholidayheadstart.

 

Heidi  18:21

Now it’s time for a get a head start tip. Each week we leave you with a small actionable tip to help you get a head start on your holiday planning. This week’s get a head start tip is take pictures of your elf escapades. Can you tell us about this, Emily?

 

Emily  18:35

Yes, if I could go back in time, I would have taken pictures of our elf’s daily setups so we could have fun looking back on them. It would be perfect to put together in a photo book, like just an inexpensive one from chat books. I know my kids would get a huge kick out of that. So I have taken some pictures here and there, but never consistently. And so I think this year I will take a picture every day, so I can do this for myself, make a little photo book. The only complication I can think of is that you probably won’t want to do a lot of repeat setups if you plan to do this. But I don’t do very many repeats anyway, because my kids always notice and remember that the elf was already at the beach last year.

 

Heidi  19:17

Of course they remember. Just remember that earlier in the episode, back when we talked about the elf framework, we talked about all of the questions that you might have to answer for your kids about this elf. And one question they might have is how you got the photos, especially if they see the photos on your phone before you get them printed. So make sure you’ve got some answers for that ready.

 

Emily  19:38

Yes, I plan to just say that I took the picture during the next day when I saw it set up. So don’t take it at night then, though, because they’ll notice that it’s dark.

 

Heidi  19:46

Yes, of course, they will. They’re like little detectives the one time you don’t want them to be.

 

Emily  19:53

Yes, they will notice every single detail.

 

Heidi  19:55

But when you want them to find their shoes, it’s no clues at all.

 

Emily  19:59

Oh, true story.

 

Emily  20:02

Now it’s time for what we’re working on this week. As a way to keep ourselves accountable and give you some ideas of what you can do in advance for your own celebrations, we’re sharing what we’re working on this week. Heidi, what’s on your to do list?

 

Speaker 1  20:14

I am going to give myself a gold star, because I had a very productive week last week.

 

Emily  20:19

You did.

 

Heidi  20:20

Yes, after our taking stock episode last week, it really motivated me to get a move on. I got those dang Grinch pancakes made and in the freezer. Somehow getting that off my to do list was just like it opened the door to my productivity. I think it had just been like floating in my brain since last year, I don’t know it’s like an open loop that I just couldn’t deal with. So it became this weird stress spiral, but it closed the loop and it motivated me to get some freezer meals done. I restocked my pantry for baking. This week I am finishing up Thanksgiving sides that can be frozen, and I’m going to finally make the cookie dough that I’ve been meaning to get to.

 

Emily  20:55

Oh, such a busy week.

 

Heidi  20:58

Yeah, we’ll see. We’ll see. Emily, what are you working on this week?

 

Emily  21:02

I’m working on my gift inventory. I’ve been doing a lot of early shopping this year thanks to every store in the world being on sale in October. So I need to get my lists updated so I can see where I’m at with everyone who still needs gifts or stocking items. And I also need to decide which of the gifts I’ve purchased will be for my youngest’s birthday in November, and which I’m saving for Christmas.

 

Heidi  21:24

It’s so hard having a birthday that close to Christmas.

 

Emily  21:27

I don’t know how parents do it when it’s like a December birthday, like even closer, because November is hard enough.

 

Speaker 1  21:33

Yeah, well, I wish you luck with that. I was just ordering her birthday present yesterday.

 

Emily  21:38

Oh, good job.

 

Speaker 1  21:41

To wrap up the show, we’re sharing our nice list. Emily, what made it on your nice list this week?

 

Emily  21:46

I’m adding to my nice list the book Santa’s First Christmas by Mac Barnett. My pre order for this just came the other day, so it’s my first new Christmas book this year. It’s a story about how Santa did not used to celebrate Christmas because he returned to the North Pole and went right back to work for next Christmas. So his elves decide to take matters into their own hands and help him experience the same Christmas joy that he provides to others. It is so charming, and the illustrations are darling too.

 

Speaker 1  22:15

I thought I had pre ordered that, but I must not have, because it’s not at my house.

 

Emily  22:19

Unless you didn’t check your mail.

 

Speaker 1  22:20

Well, there is also that. Maybe I’ll check the mail first.

 

Emily  22:26

Good idea. What’s going on your nice list, Heidi?

 

Speaker 1  22:30

Well, I think I mentioned in an earlier episode that I was finally switching my tall, skinny canisters for something with a wider opening, and I wasn’t sure if I was going to like them or not, but I have been using the Live Lab bins for a couple of months now. I am sold. I love them. They have a flip top lid, and I can easily fill them and scoop them without flour going everywhere, which was the problem with my other bins, with the skinny ones. I have the 4.5 liter one and the 2.8 liter one. My only complaint is that I would like one that’s half the size so I could put, you know, a packet of brown sugar in or powder sugar. But right now, at least, the 2.8 is the smallest they have. And I will put a link in the show notes, in case you are also tired of messy canisters and you want something that you can really scoop out of without making a mess all over your counters.

 

Heidi  23:22

That’s it for today’s episode, use our five tips for managing your elf plans, and don’t forget to take photos of your elf setups so you have treasured memories to look back on in years to come.

 

Emily  23:32

Thank you so much for joining us, and we hope to see you here next week. If you enjoyed this episode, it would be so very helpful if you gave us a five star rating and review in Apple podcasts. As a new podcast, we really need every bit of positive promo we can get.