10 Easy Steps to Create a New Holiday Tradition for Your Family [Episode 11]

Heidi  0:05

Hey there, friends. Welcome back to the Holiday Headstart podcast. Today we are talking about how to create a new holiday tradition for your family and sharing a Get a Head Start Tip for planning your sensory experiences.

 

Emily  1:04

Traditions are an important tool in building a healthy, happy, connected life. This week, we have one of our family’s oldest traditions that we’ve been doing for almost 45 years, and that is celebrating Sinterklaas. So do you want to start talking about this tradition, Heidi?

 

Heidi  1:21

Yes, I would love to. This is such a fun memory that we have. It’s something we still do. So if you’re not familiar, Sinterklaas is the Dutch way of saying St Nicholas. It is a big celebration in the Netherlands, and because we have Dutch ancestry, it’s something that we grew up celebrating. So on the night of December 5, Sinterklaas makes a visit, so you leave out your shoe for him, and he comes and leaves you a little surprise if you’ve been a good girl or boy, or a switch if you haven’t, although I don’t think any of us have ever gotten a switch, so I guess that’s something.

 

Emily  1:54

No, I think the carrots that we used to leave out for Sinterklaas’ horse, I think our brother got one of the carrots back in his shoe one year. That that sticks in my head.

 

Heidi  2:06

That would be appropriate, let’s be honest.

 

Emily  2:09

Yes, it’s such a fun memory, and I do it with my kids. When we were kids, we also had a Dutch meal for dinner that night. I’ve not continued that on with my children because they are heathens, and they don’t like anything, so it’s not worth cooking up the food, but it is a yummy meal.

 

Heidi  2:26

But we do go over to our parents’ for adult Dutch dinner at some point in December.

 

Emily  2:30

Yeah, that’s true. They’re getting it that way.

 

Heidi  2:32

Yeah. And there’s some other fun traditions you can add to Sinterklaas. Sometimes we’ll get Dutch letters, which is your first initial made out of chocolate

 

Emily  2:40

Or pastry.

 

Heidi  2:41

Yes, or pastry. If you have a name that doesn’t have a Dutch letter, you could have an S instead for Sinterklaas. If you are interested in getting Dutch letters, my favorite place to order from is a store called a Touch of Dutch and I’ll put a link in the show notes. They have really reasonable prices, especially if you consider that it is imported chocolate.

 

Emily  3:00

Yeah, it’s good. It’s tasty.

 

Heidi  3:02

Dutch chocolate, you can’t go wrong. Speculaas cookies are a tradition. What else do we have?

 

Emily  3:08

We have, like, an almond cake.

 

Heidi  3:10

Yes, oh, so yummy.

 

Emily  3:11

What’s it called? It’s not called that. It’s called…

 

Heidi  3:14

Boterkoeken.

 

Emily  3:15

Yes, our mom makes that. And apparently the recipe is very easy, but I’ve never had to make it because mom makes it.

 

Heidi  3:22

So it’s just fun to have a tradition that connects us to our roots and then something that, as a kid growing up, it was special to have this gift giver that no one else knew about that came to our house. It felt like an extra bit of magic.

 

Emily  3:34

Yes, for sure, and I do sometimes come across people who celebrate St Nicholas Day, but I’ve never met anybody that has Sinterklaas come, so that makes it feel extra special and exclusive. But if you guys want to join in too, we’ll let you.

 

Heidi  3:48

Absolutely, Sinterklaas loves everyone.

 

Emily  3:51

We’d love to hear about your favorite traditions. Come join us on Instagram @theholidayheadstart.

 

Heidi  3:58

As we mentioned at the top of the episode, traditions are an important tool in building a healthy, happy, connected life. They boost physical and emotional health. They make time feel richer, elevate experiences, build community, shape identity, provide predictability and strengthen relationships, and they’re especially beneficial for children.

 

Emily  4:17

Traditions and rituals of all kinds, from big cultural traditions down to quirky family rituals are important to our happiness. We could easily spend the whole episode just talking about the benefits of traditions. But as magical and wonderful as traditions can be, if you’re the person responsible for pulling them off, they can also make our holidays crazy stressful.

 

Heidi  4:40

Now this may be a controversial stance, but we take a hard line at The Holiday Headstart that we are firmly against extra stress.

 

Emily  4:47

That’s right, no extra stress.

 

Heidi  4:50

So how do we keep the magic but lose the overwhelm? Well, one way we can do that is by planning, with intention. We start with our why, list out our what, and figure out our how.

 

Emily  5:01

We did a deep dive on this process in episode four. So go back and check that out if you want all the details. But for now, let’s talk about how these three steps apply to planning a tradition. If you have a tradition you’re already doing and want to keep doing, use our action plan in the Holiday Headstart Playbook to get all the details organized. We talked all about how to use an action plan in Episode Six, if you need a refresher.

 

Heidi  5:25

If you have a tradition that you already do, but it needs some adjusting, workshop it with the tradition evaluation template in the playbook.

 

Emily  5:33

And we have not done an episode on that one yet, but we’re only on Episode 11, so I’m sure we’ll get there.

 

Heidi  5:39

Give us a few weeks. Now, what if you’re in a position where you want to start a new tradition? Either it’s something you’ve heard about and you would like to try, or you feel like there’s a hole in your celebrations where a tradition would be useful. In that case, keep listening, because that is what we are focused on today.

 

Emily  5:57

So we’ve got 10 easy steps to help you create a new tradition. If you’ve got the Holiday Headstart Playbook, of course, there’s a template for you where you can record all your ideas. You can grab a copy of the playbook at theholidayheadstart.com/playbook.

 

Heidi  6:12

If you don’t have the playbook yet, you can do the same exercise on a sheet of paper, but just know that it will not be as cute.

 

Emily  6:20

These 10 steps work for any type of tradition you want to start. This exercise isn’t just for Christmas traditions, either, and it isn’t just for family traditions. Traditions add value to every life, not just the lives of people with small children.

 

Heidi  6:34

And if you’re single like me, or an empty nester, or you have a family that looks different than it used to, this conversation still applies to you. Regardless of your family situation, everyone deserves to enjoy the benefits of having traditions to look forward to. So let’s start with step one, and we’ll start where we always start, which is by identifying our purpose. So what is the purpose of this tradition?

 

Emily  6:58

If you’re like me and you just want to get to the nuts and bolts of planning. This question might feel like it’s slowing you down, but I promise it is essential. Starting with your purpose helps you know what to hold on to and what to release. Let’s say you’re considering starting a tradition of driving around and looking at Christmas lights, but your toddler screams anytime that they are in the car, I have been there. Your purpose can help you figure out what to do. If your purpose is to spend time together as a family, a light drive probably isn’t going to work this year. Instead, you could bundle up and walk around the neighborhood one night.

 

Heidi  7:35

But if your purpose is to make happy memories, maybe one parent can stay home with the toddler, or you hire a babysitter for 30 minutes and the rest of the family goes on the drive. If you’re clear on your purpose, you have a guide for how to make your tradition fit your needs, instead of trying to force your needs to fit the tradition.

 

Emily  7:55

Once you know the why of your new tradition, we can start on our what step two is decide how often to do this tradition. Part of the power of traditions is that they’re predictable. It gives people something to look forward to. So consider how often this tradition will be repeated. Is it a daily ritual, like a song you sing at bedtime? Is it a special dessert every Sunday, or maybe it’s a once a year seasonal event? Write down the details you need to remember.

 

Heidi  8:22

Step three is to figure out who’s involved. Maybe it’s a personal tradition, like getting a new scented candle at the start of each month. That’s one of my favorite traditions. In that case, it’s a very short list of who’s involved. It’s just me. But likely, if you are taking the time to plan out a tradition, it’s because it involves multiple people, so consider who is impacted by starting this new tradition.

 

Emily  8:45

Step four is to consider what you already do. If last year you took the kids to the water park on the last day of school, maybe that could become a tradition you repeat each year. Or if you enjoyed watching The Holiday on Christmas night last year, maybe it’s something you want to include going forward. Some of the most cherished traditions start as one time events.

 

Heidi  9:06

Plus, if you already know something works well for your situation, you don’t have to reinvent the wheel by coming up with a whole new plan. Don’t be afraid to play the favorites. All it takes for something to become a tradition is to repeat it on purpose.

 

Emily  9:19

Step five is to consider what’s enjoyable and practical for this season of your life. When you’re in the planning stage, it’s easy to get caught up in your ideal life and forget you’re dealing with your real life. My neighbor’s family gets up on Thanksgiving to run the turkey trot 5k. They love it, but I think that sounds cold and sweaty.

 

Heidi  9:38

Oh so sweaty.

 

Emily  9:40

And frankly, I have enough to do on Thanksgiving without having to also run a literal race.

 

Heidi  9:45

If a Thanksgiving race works for your family, we are cheering you on big time, but it’s important to be honest about what fits your situation. Trying something new can be an exciting experience, but if you are pushing too far outside of your natural tendencies, or the tendencies of the people you’re celebrating with, you are likely to end up with more headaches than hoorays.

 

Emily  10:07

At this point, if you already have an idea of what tradition you’d like to start, you can add it to your list. If you need some ideas, poke around the internet a bit. Bloggers love to create lists of 25 unique thanksgiving traditions, or the 15 best first day of school traditions. So make a list of the ideas that speak to you.

 

Heidi  10:25

Step six is to consider if there are any traditions you could pass down. Maybe you grew up having an all green dinner on St Patrick’s Day, and you think that could be a fun tradition to start.

 

Emily  10:35

Or maybe you have a tradition, like our Sinterklaas tradition that is handed down from an ancestors homeland. Celebrating the way your ancestors did is a powerful way to shape identity and create connection.

 

Heidi  10:47

In step one, we figured out why we are doing this tradition. In steps two through six, we figured out the details of what our new tradition looks like, and now let’s figure out how to make it happen. Step seven is to consider how your new tradition will impact your established family dynamics. If you announce that you are planning a caroling night, how well do you think this will go over? Are your people going to be on board, or will you get pushback?

 

Emily  11:15

Also consider if this new tradition will upset the normal way your family functions. If you decide to skip your sister in law’s traditional Mother’s Day brunch in favor of starting a tradition of a mother’s day spa day, there may be some fallout from that. Depending on your situation, that may be a good thing, but maybe it’s not worth rocking the boat. So the last thing we want our new tradition to do is to create more hassles.

 

Heidi  11:38

Yes, we definitely want to avoid that. Also keep in mind step eight, which is to limit the moving pieces. Consider how you can keep things manageable. This is a big sister warning here. Traditions tend to grow over time, so it’s important to get the basics in place first, and then you can decide to build on them later, if you want.

 

Emily  12:00

Yeah, so last year we started our reindeer games tradition. So my son loves games, and we felt like a Christmas game night would be right up his alley. We started with just the goal of playing games together, since the kids needed to have dinner game night or not, we kept it simple by doing kid friendly corn dogs, and made it festive by putting plastic antlers in them. We had already been making Rudolph noses treats in December that have the little pretzels and the Rolos, and so we moved that to our reindeer game celebration, and then we played a few games and watched Rudolph.

 

Heidi  12:35

Since dinner already had to happen, we just turned it into an event with a couple festive touches. And like Emily mentioned, the Rudolph notes, those were already something we did, so we just rescheduled them to make them part of our theme night. By keeping things small, we could enjoy the night without being overwhelmed by the details. And now that we have the basics down, we can add a little more fun. I have got a couple surprises up my sleeve, but I can’t tell you about them yet.

 

Emily  13:00

Oh well, I’m excited.

 

Heidi  13:02

Yeah, it’ll be fun. I was gonna show you a hint, but I won’t.

 

Emily  13:04

Oh, fine. I guess I’ll have to wait for December.

 

Heidi  13:08

Wait, okay, here’s, here’s a little hint. I don’t know if you can see that.

 

Emily  13:12

I can see it, but I don’t know what it is, and that did not help any listeners.

 

Heidi  13:19

No. It was, it’s a big copper coin.

 

Emily  13:22

Okay, well, I’m excited. Well, I won’t let my expectations get too wild, though, because that’s step nine. Maintain realistic expectations. The truth is, even with the best planning and preparation, this tradition will not unfold perfectly. Grumblers gotta grumble. Children gotta whine and complain. It’s likely you’ll wonder why you’re even doing this at all.

 

Heidi  13:46

So it’s important to consider, if this tradition ends up feeling more stressful than fun, is it still worth pursuing? That is something only you can decide, but it’s worth noting that when people look back on these events, they often forget that they were huge wet blankets and instead focus on what they enjoyed. If you can manage a few grumpy moments, you may end up with lifelong happy memories.

 

Emily  14:11

Okay, by this point, we’ve figured out the purpose of this new tradition. We determined how often to repeat it and who’s involved. We’ve considered what sorts of things we already do and what’s practical for this season of life. We’ve thought about what we could pass down and how our family dynamics will impact our plans, and we’re limiting the moving pieces and maintaining realistic expectations. So now it’s time for our final step, Step 10. How can you document the experience?

 

Heidi  14:39

Part of the magic of a tradition is the happy memories it creates. One way to enhance those memories is to document the experience on purpose. Obviously, thanks to phones, it’s easy to take a bunch of photos, but there’s more we can add to the memory keeping. Let’s say you go on an old timey train every fall to see the fall leaves. Maybe you can add to the tradition by getting one of those stretch souvenir pennies from the overpriced penny machine at the train station every time you go.

 

Emily  15:06

You could try taking the same pictures each time you do your tradition. Maybe you have a banner you hang up for each birthday and take a picture of the birthday person under the banner every year.

 

Heidi  15:16

My neighborhood does a Christmas walk each December around the neighborhood. Last year, I got a cardboard cutout of a snowman and a gingerbread man with like the holes for kids to put their faces through. My hope is that it becomes a photo that families take every year so they can have the fun of seeing how their kids have grown each year.

 

Emily  15:36

Oh, I love that. And I was just thinking that we could add something to our reindeer games, where we keep track of the winners, of like, what games we play and who won them, either, like, on the inside of the game, or something like that. Because that could be fun.

 

Heidi  15:50

Oh, that’s a really fun idea. I love that.

 

Emily  15:52

Another idea is to have some kind of written record. I heard of a family that got a giant coloring book, like 18 inches by two feet of The Night Before Christmas. So each year they color just one page, and everyone who is there is expected to color at least part of the picture and sign their name on the page. So I thought that was a really fun idea. And I will put a link to the coloring book in the show notes if you want to check it out.

 

Heidi  16:14

There are lots of creative ways to add an element of memory keeping to your traditions. It’s a fun way to celebrate memories and reinforce the tradition going forward.

 

Emily  16:24

If you’re looking to start a new tradition this year, hopefully this discussion has gotten your wheels turning. Make sure to check out the new traditions planning template in the Holiday Headstart Playbook, if you want a dedicated space for figuring out all the details of your new tradition.

 

Heidi  16:38

And then come tell us all about on Instagram, you can find us @theholidayheadstart, and we would really love to hear about it.

 

Emily  16:45

Now it’s time for a Get a Head Start Tip. Each week we leave you with a small actionable tip to help you get a head start on your holiday planning. This week’s get a head start tip is plan your sensorium. Please explain, Heidi.

 

Heidi  16:59

Gladly. It’s kind of a weird term, but your sensorium is the way all of your senses work together to create one sensory experience. So for example, a friend and I were just reminiscing about the magic of the Sears wish book that used to come in the mail each year when we were little. You’re talking about, you know, the feel of the pages and how it kind of coat your fingers, and all of the exciting toys that we would drool over. And if you remember, the catalog kind of had a unique smell that would hit you every time you opened it.

 

Emily  17:28

Yes, I was smelling the smell as soon as you said that, like, I totally know what you mean.

 

Heidi  17:32

So as we’re talking about that, all of our senses are working together to recreate this childhood experience of, you know, lying on the carpet and dreaming about all the things Santa was going to bring. Now, considering your current holiday sensorium is important for two reasons. First, it impacts the memories you make, and second, planning for the senses enriches our experiences. When we purposefully incorporate smells and sounds and touches, we have a more satisfying experience. In the activity section of the playbook, there is a page for you to plan your own holiday sensorium. So you start by listing your favorite holiday specific sights, sounds, tastes, touches and smells, because that’s going to be different for all of us. And then there’s a section for you to figure out how to incorporate those sensory experiences into your holiday plans so that you can have a richer, more fulfilling experience at the holidays and be more present in the activities that you’re doing.

 

Emily  18:26

Oh, I love it.

 

Emily  18:28

Now it’s time for what we’re working on this week. As a way to keep ourselves accountable and give you some ideas of what you can do in advance for your own celebrations, we’re sharing what we’re working on this week. So Heidi, what is on your to do list?

 

Heidi  18:41

Okay, I’m saying this out loud, so I have to go do it. Right after we are done with this podcast, I am going to put together the root beer reindeer bottles for our reindeer games dinner. It’s basically just gluing on googly eyes, pipe cleaner antlers and a red pom pom nose. And it has the advantage of being one of those few things that can be done way in advance, which is a great way to relieve December stress. But because I have all of the pieces, it has been way too easy to say I’ll just do it later. I’ll get to it next, I’ll do it later, and then that is how I end up scrambling to pull it together the day it’s needed. So since this is one thing I know, I can get done early. I’m going to just take 20 minutes today and do it right now.

 

Emily  19:24

Oh, good job. I expect a full report.

 

Heidi  19:27

Yes, I will send you photos. Okay, Emily, what are you working on this week?

 

Emily  19:31

I’m working on getting my mailman basket out this week.

 

Heidi  19:35

Oh, you’re good.

 

Emily  19:39

Well, I’m already deep into the holiday shopping, so there have been a lot of deliveries to my house, so I started to feel like I probably should get it up sooner. Because hopefully I’m going to be having more deliveries sooner and less later, ideally, instead of just more the whole time. Hopefully not.

 

Heidi  19:54

I had that problem last year, because I ended up doing way more shopping than I expected to in November, which was good because I was ahead, but I didn’t put out my delivery basket till December, and by then I was getting way fewer deliveries.

 

Emily  20:06

Yeah, see, exactly. So I’m gonna try and get it out this week, I think.

 

Heidi  20:10

Okay, well, you’ve inspired me. I’m gonna get a jump on mine too. Since we bought all the stuff already.

 

Emily  20:14

Yes.

 

Heidi  20:16

To wrap up the show, we’re sharing our nice lists. Emily, what has made it on your nice list this week?

 

Emily  20:21

Well, I love a holiday rom com book. In fact, last year, Heidi and I put together a list of some of our favorite holiday rom com books. So I will link to that in the show notes. One of my favorites is the book Faking Christmas by Cindy Steele.

 

Heidi  20:35

It is so good, I want to second Emily’s vote. It’s probably my favorite holiday rom com.

 

Emily  20:40

I know, I may even reread it. And I am not a rereader of books, because there’s so many books I want to read all the time, but I may reread that one.

 

Heidi  20:47

I think I did reread it last year because I was like, it can’t be as good as I remember. And I loved it. It was still good the second time.

 

Emily  20:52

I love it. So it’s about enemy coworker teachers who end up at the same family lodge for Christmas, where they have to pretend to fake date because of a series of misfortunes and white lies. So it’s got fake dating and enemies to lovers, which are two of my favorite tropes. This is a sweet, closed door holiday romance, if that’s your thing, and it’s free on Kindle Unlimited. So win, win, win.

 

Heidi  21:18

Yeah, there’s no downside to that one.

 

Emily  21:19

What’s on your nice list, Heidi?

 

Heidi  21:21

Okay, well, speaking of books, I’m putting the book buddy app on my nice list. I was just talking with a friend about her collection of holiday books, and I said she needed to get this app to keep track of what she has so that she doesn’t end up like me and by duplicates of books she already owns. So I have used the book buddy app. For years, it’s so easy to use you just scan your books into your collection, and then you can sort them into any categories you want. You can keep track of books you’ve loaned out, either your favorite books, your reading status in a book, and you can add any tags that you might want to help you keep track of things. The search feature works really well. This app has really been a huge lifesaver as someone who owns hundreds of books.

 

Emily  21:21

Same.

 

Heidi  21:24

And there is a free version of the app, but I did upgrade to the paid and it was very worth it. And my favorite thing about that, though, is that it is not a subscription. Once you pay for it, it’s yours. You don’t have to keep paying for it every month.

 

Heidi  22:18

That’s it for today’s episode. Use these 10 steps to start your new traditions and use your favorite holiday sensory experiences to elevate your celebrations.

 

Emily  22:28

Thank you so much for joining us. We hope to see you here next week. If you enjoyed this episode, it would be so very helpful if you gave us a five star rating and review on Apple podcasts. As a new podcast, we really need every bit of positive promo we can get.